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Raised By Her Podcast
Raised By Her is a mother–daughter podcast exploring the lessons, love, and lived experiences passed down through generations. Hosts Ro Nita and Donnica share honest, intergenerational conversations about womanhood, identity, family, and leadership - and the wisdom we inherit (and sometimes challenge).
Part humor and all heart, Raised By Her is a reminder that every generation has something to teach—and that the stories that raise us continue to shape who we become.
Raised By Her Podcast
Dermaplaning, The Barbie Movie & Grandma's Skincare Secret (Noxzema?!) | Raised By Her
In this wide-ranging mother-daughter chat, we cover everything from childhood nostalgia to beauty standards and self-confidence.
Ro Nita shares what it was like growing up when there were no Black Barbies — and how representation in dolls like Addie from American Girl made a lasting impact. We dive into the complex history of Black dolls in America and how those toys shaped identity and imagination.
Then we switch gears to review the Barbie Movie — giving our honest thoughts on what it got right, what it missed, and why we both agree that Ken’s character was a basic, forgettable mess.
Finally, we talk skincare! Donnica shares her first experience with dermaplaning and a light chemical peel for acne and sensitive skin, while Ro Nita recalls her grandmother’s tried-and-true routine — Vaseline and Noxzema.
It’s a funny, heartfelt, and revealing conversation about pop culture, beauty, and family — the perfect mix of laughs, lessons, and love.
Speaking, partnerships, and press: raisedbyherpodcast@gmail.com
🎤 New episodes every week. Honest conversations between mother and daughter on family, womanhood, and navigating life across generations.
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Double skincare got it. One, two, three. Well, hello there. How are you? Hello. We're back. Yes. Yes. How's your week been? I can't complain. It's been a good week. Okay. Yeah, all things considered. You know what's I noticed this week was how gorgeous fall is. Because summer is my favorite season, bar none. Yes. Um and so I do find it a little depressing when it gets colder outside. Uh, but then the it's it's gorgeous. The colors, it's it's magical actually. So I'm in a better mood now.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Well, I love fall. It's one of my favorite times. Really? Spring? But but fall is number one and spring is number two.
SPEAKER_00:When I hear fall and spring, I think sinus season for me. It's where it's about to battle my allergies, battle my body for functionality.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, yes. I have to do the same thing. I mean, I I I battle the uh the allergies too, but you're absolutely correct, the the colors. And there have been times uh in my life where I've been so busy that the season just passed and I missed it. So now I take the moments. I like to walk outside in the fall. I like to take in the colors, uh, I like to kind of choose my clothes that I want to wear and get the sweaters out. You know, all the wonderful things that is all about fall.
SPEAKER_00:What about I'm surprised to hear you say that you've been so busy that you've missed whole seasons. I mean, I do know the 10-year-old. Yeah, yeah. That's I that's that's very that's very busy. Now, when I think about living in a walking city, um, perhaps that has forced me to pay more attention because you're out on the elements more because you're walking around more. Whereas when you're in the Midwest and you're either indoors or in your car or back indoors, maybe that that lends itself to to missing whole seasons. But I'm I'm glad you've you can now appreciate or you've um managed your life in a way, your schedule in a way where you can now appreciate the seasons.
SPEAKER_02:I tell you when I realized it during the pandemic when we were indoors for that two-year period of time. Was it two years? And I was sitting out on um my back porch and doing work and everything, and it made me think, oh my goodness. I'm sitting here for not 15 minutes, not a half hour, but I'm actually sitting out here for two hours and just really taking in nature. And it's not for an event, it's not because we're barbecuing outside, it's not because there is something that is leading to something else. I am just sitting here, relaxing and living in this moment. And I thought, wow, that's really kind of cool. Because you would go from season to season.
SPEAKER_00:Living in the moment is pretty cool. I I can't argue with that. Yeah, being able to focus on the present.
SPEAKER_02:Which is what we need to do more of.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, that's true.
SPEAKER_02:It's uh present is all we have. The present is a present. Present is a present. You can't go back and you don't know what's going to happen in the future. So yeah. Philosophies to live by, absolutely. I was looking um at some notes that I made recently uh about when you were a little girl and some of your favorite toys. Do you have any memory of any of your favorite toys when you were growing up?
SPEAKER_00:What um let's see, what comes to mind? I loved Disney, and you all were really excellent in bringing me and my best friends to Disney on a on an ongoing basis. I'm talking about the Disney in Florida. Right. And um, so at some point you all got me a massive mini and a massive Mickey. And uh I think probably they were taller than me for for a while there. Um so I remember playing with them and those being super cool and a little unique. And then um uh I was dolls, probably. I've I I had plenty of tomboy phases, but I'm certainly a girly girl who who is into my dolls. When I think about dolls, I think about American girl. I actually wonder is American girl coming back, or does it still exist? I don't even really know. But the stories were cool. Um and uh black girl at the time.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yep, she was.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, her story wasn't cool because it was all about like slavery and things, and I realized that that was the time they were starting to to integrate what stories black dolls should have. Let's it can be more than that. There's so much more to us than just that particular piece of our past. But um, having a black doll and having Addie was cool as well.
SPEAKER_02:It was really beneficial for um African-American mothers to be able to purchase African-American dolls because when you were first a little girl, when you're first born, there weren't a lot of um black dolls out there, and um very few. In fact, I remember thinking about um the Barbies. Now, Barbie came into existence in the late 50s, um, but they didn't have black Barbies. In fact, they didn't have black Barbies until the 1980s. Um and so did you have a black?
SPEAKER_00:So you didn't have a black barbie? Um or did you have Barbies at all? I didn't I didn't have Barbies. I did to my grandmother not being down for Barbies. You were mine. Yes, no Barb Bart.
SPEAKER_02:She's like, You're a book. Yeah, that's exactly right. Um I but I did have I had dolls, and um, my favorite doll actually was a doll with green hair. And that's what I called her, actually. Uh, and I would carry her around with me. So did we ever inspire you to have green hair? No, it did not. Okay. But I had this little white doll with green hair um when I was a little girl, and um we didn't have black dolls um when I was when I was growing up. And then my last doll.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, but then did you have white dolls or did you just have black dolls?
SPEAKER_02:Okay. And actually I I played with paper dolls too when I was a little girl, and little paper clothes that you would put on the dolls and and everything. And then um, and when black dolls started coming out, then I bought myself some black dolls because I just thought it was really cool to be able to have um black dolls.
SPEAKER_00:So that was a point of discussion, I guess, with you and your friends. I don't know, like when I was little, I guess is when it what what an interesting time to have a girl um or a boy, I guess it truly doesn't matter, but to have to con or to contemplate what kind of toy to get your child based on the types of exposure and experience and inclusivity you want them to have.
SPEAKER_02:Well, it it's true because the whole Barbie experience uh when they created the first black Barbie was in uh 1980. And so it wasn't Issa Rae last year. No, no, no. But uh to Mattel's point, they have included over the years several uh dolls of color um and they've made them a part of pop culture and society, and they've patterned them after lots of different um African Americans. But when they created the the first black Barbie, um they hired a black designer to um come up with uh the clothes and the way that Black Barbie would look. Um and what was interesting about that particular time is Mattel would make friends of Barbie um other kinds of cultures, but not not uh not a black Barbie. So they're centered. Yeah, then they decided that they would have Barbies of all cultures, all sides. For missing a massive piece of the market. They absolutely did, and so uh it became a worldwide, worldwide tradition then to have um Japanese Barbies and Chinese Barbies and Mexican Barbies, and then they began to have Barbies of all sizes and shapes, which was really different because as you know, when Barbie was first created, she was teeny tiny.
SPEAKER_00:Well, her proportions I don't think made sense for a real person. She would tip over.
SPEAKER_02:I think it's what those teeny weeny little bitty Barbie shoes and everything. Um, but because I I like pop culture, uh, I went to the Cincinnati Museum and they had a display of the history of Barbie when Barbie was.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, so you can really speak to this then. You have like a personal experience, you've been to museums and expos on it.
SPEAKER_02:And and and the expo was um was wonderful because it went through the history of the Barbie doll and it went through all the multicultural kind of experiences that Barbie had, and it talked about the clothes that were designed and how they hired some high fashion um designers to be able to to really create some clothes and and and everything over the years. Yeah, and so fascinating history.
SPEAKER_00:Well, it was storied history too.
SPEAKER_02:It it was, and then when you get to the point of when they created the African American Barbie and they had to create the hair, and they had all these different samples and the in the display. Like now what do we do? Not black hair because they didn't they didn't know what to do. Um and it was a a a different kind of experience. And so I I relate that to the fact that I was looking for dolls for you to be able to relate to. And when you mentioned uh the uh the Addy doll and the fact that uh we were able to not only get the doll, but also we had the hair that matched her hair, but we could also buy a dress for you. Well she needed a new dress, so you weren't we weren't doing yes, she needed some new clothes. But I think um black mothers at that time really could appreciate the fact that there were a lot of variety and then I bet it sold well. It did. It sold really well, and the um the industry just really blew up. And and so there were a lot of other choices that you had.
SPEAKER_00:Since you have uh good background on this, what did you think of the movie that came out, the Blockbuster Hit?
SPEAKER_02:I thought that it was a good attempt by Mattel to tell the story. Um and uh for those who saw the Barbie movie, um, it was really talking about the the cultural phenomenon and it was trying to make uh Barbie everyday Barbie. Um they also tried to pull in kin to that uh the whole storyline. Uh it was uh it was successful financially, but it was not necessarily multicultural in the approach, although they did have all of these women who were portraying Barbie who was supposed to represent the Barbies of today.
SPEAKER_00:So, what would you have liked to see outside of just representation um to make it truly more multicultural in in your eyes? Because you have more history.
SPEAKER_02:Well, because I I like pop culture and and and looking into something like that. That's a good question. I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to see. I just um but maybe what would have been perhaps what would have been a little more interesting and would have been able to relate to us um better would have been as they were developing the kin character with Barbie and the relationship. What did you say? I said that was a mess. So you saw it too. Now why did you say that?
SPEAKER_00:I just thought it was a weak character and it didn't have to be in that way. It was a little um uh obvious. Like you can make the points that I think they were trying to make with some more complexity. Um so I think that's I mean, I I wish I could like be super detailed about it, but generally I just found it to be quite basic.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly. And so if you're going to spend that kind of money and if you're going to have a a character that's that popular, then let's do a really better job in writing the dialogue and developing the relationship development. I think so. Um but you know, it it made money, it did what Mattel wanted it to do, and uh it kind of moved forward. I wonder if they'll ever have a uh an American girl movie where they have surprised if they hadn't the Addy and the Or have they?
SPEAKER_00:Maybe we missed it because I I'm well, I shouldn't be surprised, who knows? Um so pro tip, somebody out there, don't use Chat GPT, but find a way to develop a really good American girl story.
SPEAKER_02:The the conversation when you were younger, though, had to do with uh the role of the doll in a child's life and what does the doll represent? How do you introduce dolls to your daughters and maybe in some instances your sons as well? But what does the doll represent? Do you have any idea of what a mother would be thinking about when she buys her her daughter a daughter?
SPEAKER_00:I mean, if I had to guess, probably just like a friend.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, because I mean, you know, kids have imaginary friends and it's almost like a physical manifestation of a of a friend.
SPEAKER_02:So a fantasy friend who can do whatever it is you want um her to do with you, and that you can play with and you can take wherever it is that you want to go. Uh and so you have experiences that are similar. And because I was the kind of child that had a big imagination, and I And the type of adult that has a big imagination. I talked with like my characters with the dolls. So I would have several of the dolls, and then I would act out the characters, and each of them had their own personalities. And so I would try to teach you that too when uh we were playing with dolls, when we were dressing up wood. But I do. Um, not quite as creative as I you. You you would kind of look at me like mommy, I don't want her to do whatever. And but it was uh it was the fantasy world. Did my father play dolls with me? Your father played dolls with you. Your father played everything with you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but say I d I don't remember it, but it would not surprise me that he would play anything with me. Yes, listen.
SPEAKER_02:You had a little playroom and I remember the playroom. And so in the playroom, there was a little school set up there, so you would learn the alphabet, and then we would try to have you teach your dolls the alphabet and uh the songs and whatever the lessons were in preschool, we would go to your playroom and have you to um to sort of act out um those particular lessons too, as a part of learning, but trying to make it fun.
SPEAKER_00:Looking back now, I would say my favorite part of a doll, and I guess it evolved. It might not have existed when um dolls were first being introduced. Actually, let's let's take it like not just a doll, but to Barbie. I love the fact of like a doctor Barbie or a lawyer Barbie, um, or an astronaut Barbie. Absolutely. I think that's the part to me that's really cool. It's less about the Barbie piece of it, um, and more about like you can you can be this ideal of Barbie, but also you can be this too. You're like Barbie plus.
SPEAKER_02:And that was very intentional when uh Mattel decided to evolve. And we're gonna allow women in the workplace, so let's that's no, you're you're making a joke, but that's absolutely what I decided. And to to be able to have Barbie to demonstrate not only the professional side, but you can be anything that you want to be was really kind of fun. And and I love the displays and all of the different kinds of uh Barbies and the characters that we had a chance to to see in in the museum. And I went with um several sisters from another organization that I'm a part of, and we had the best fun, best time having fun and playing and thinking about our childhood. Not a lot of African Americans were in the museum. Oh, really?
SPEAKER_00:What do you think that is?
SPEAKER_02:Um, I I think that maybe they didn't um advertise it to the African-American community. I'm not quite sure. But because uh we were an African American are an African-American group and we were talking about our our doll experiences, and it was uh it was great to be able to go through the memories, but also each of our daughters had different kinds of experiences with Barbie. And what you just brought up, the whole professional side, gave them a chance as mothers to be able to expose their daughter to some careers that they hadn't even thought about. So it was uh it was good. And it was an afternoon that I really enjoy.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, good. I'm glad. Um, I'm sorry to hear that there weren't more um African-American participation, um, you know, but just because I think that things like that are important and the history is important and the experiences are important, and um I know that it's different in larger cities versus smaller cities, but one of the things that I see now being in a smaller sized city or a mid-sized city is the the lack of integration and some really cool experiences. And it really is like all the black folks are doing this, or all the white folks are doing this, and I'm like, oh no, but then y'all are missing out on so many amazing things like across the board. I just wish there was more like true integration.
SPEAKER_02:Well, there was this little girl um who was there with her mommy, and of course, I went up to talk to her and wanted to know um how she enjoyed the Barbie uh experience, and um, and she had a little bag, and I said, So did you buy something for your mommy? And she thought that was funny. She said, No, mommy bought bought this, and this is for me to put into my Barbie playhouse. Yeah, and so she was talking about her Barbie playhouse, and I said, So tell me what's in your Barbie playhouse. And so she talked about the things in her playhouse, and then she said, and I have a Barbie car, and so she was talking about her little Barbie convertible everything. Just being just like the convertible was in.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, yes. You had a convertible. They still have the appeal. You had a convertible. It wasn't the Barbie convertible, but you had a convertible. Oh, the one where you can drive as a child. Uh-huh. Yeah. What color that was? This is what was it red? Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I have an affinity for red cars. But actually, what I remember about that car is that at the time we lived in a house that was off of a really busy street. And I don't know where you all were. You were like in the house. I don't know where you guys were. And I can't remember whether it's you, my father, or both, but I was in, wait, was I in my car? Wasn't that my my small car? Or was I in one of you all's cars? This is just like a driving experience. I was not old enough to have a driver's license. I mean, I had to have been like 10 or 11. Um, but I felt compelled to try to drive on my own without any adults around me at this age on a busy street. So I backed out of the driveway into the busy road. Thank God there were no cars going back and forth. But then I guess I'd watched you all enough to know, like, oh, I should, this is not a good idea. Let me like go forward. How did you all even figure out that I did that? Did I did I tell you? Was I so freaked out that I told you? Or was somebody watching out the window? You would have been watching out the window because you would have ramped.
SPEAKER_02:Your grandmother was watching out the this was on uh on Grand Avenue, and you were in my little red sports car at that particular time. But your father had left you in the car for a moment to go do whatever it is. Oh, okay. And that's what happened. And that's when you did that. And so your grandmother was watching out the window, and she went flying out the door. And so she told me about that experience.
SPEAKER_00:But you said that was on Grand Avenue. I think I might have just told on myself 20 years later. I did it on Spring Valley. Oh, I didn't know about the Spring Valley Valley. But I now that I'm I think it was uh my father's again. My father's car. I don't know where he went for a minute. Oh, yeah. Okay. Right. So that's how you learned how to drive, huh? Yeah. Back and forth on business, yes, up and down driveways. Started at the age of eight. It's funny. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:So, but I guess all those experiences helped you to get to where you are today. I'll take it. So I'll take it. Um, so you weren't a doll then, you were uh actually a person driving.
SPEAKER_00:But I'm very motivated. I don't know if it was the Barbie convertibles or just the cars around generally, but uh wanted to drive.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, so well I'm I'm glad you've lived through those experiences. Univot. And um, but the fantasy world is is important and it helps a child to be able to develop um herself into um the beginning stages of being uh a young woman. Um and also being able to play the role that you're going to play as um as mother, as girlfriend, as wife, as you know, um also so that's what the doll experience allows one to be able to do as well. Got it. Okay. So I'm glad that you had fun. I'm not so glad about the driving miscarriages.
SPEAKER_00:But okay, we we Yeah, no, I mean I I'm glad I had fun too. It's it's a privilege to have a fun childhood, and I can look back fondly on mine. So I feel very grateful to you, my father, and then all the other folks who participated in making that a good experience for me.
SPEAKER_02:You did. You had uh a really good strong network um of friends and um aunts and uh family members.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I was raised by a community for sure. That that's my uh my view on it anyway. Like definitely a strong core family, but then also like a broader community as well. It's actually one of the things I hear that's lost kind of um in today's world for whatever reason, whether it's because folks move away or um just the nature of family has shifted and changed. But I hear a lot of my peers talking about how they miss the community aspect of um parenting, and that it's just made it harder because then they feel like it's all on them.
SPEAKER_02:Well, we have the family reunions that um that we have the memories of for so many years.
SPEAKER_00:And part of the reason why you say so many years, you mean like was it 65?
SPEAKER_02:Like a lot of years. We it was a lot of years, and uh and actually your grandparents hosted the family reunion for like 35 years, and so it was uh very beneficial. And then, but it started before then with your grandparents, and so I guess if we add up all of the different years, and this is actually on both sides of the family, on my father's side and on my mother's side, and but the family reunions allowed us to be able to have that kind of connection that you were talking about, and to be able to know your relatives, know your cousins, and to be able to know something about the family history and to grow up and to be a part of uh a total family unit. And that reality is very much a part of what's missing in some families and some relationships. Sure.
SPEAKER_00:Today's a tough thing to do. I give a lot of credit to uh my grandparents and then uh the other members of the family that have kept it going in different ways because it's a lot of work to put on a family reunion.
SPEAKER_02:It is a lot of work. Uh the one we went to last year, um one of your cousins uh she initiated it, and then the rest of the cousins uh rallied around. And so this is uh not your generation, but a generation that is a little bit older than you. Yeah, I'm not ready yet. At some point, well, you'll be ready soon, hopefully.
SPEAKER_00:I know folks feel like I'm ready. They're like, no, now it's time. Now it's time.
SPEAKER_02:But but I mean you you really as a unit have to take it over. Yeah, yes, I understand. Um, and because it it's it is a lot of work, but it is beneficial for all the things that we have. It is worth it. And you you were talking about one of your cousins that you have just recently reacquainted yourself with, and part of what she wants to do is to know more of the family and to get to know um the individual she doesn't know well, but also she has a daughter, and she wants her daughter to be able to know the cousins that she doesn't know and to grow up. It's it's nothing like it. It's just I agree. And so and I'm I have the blessing now to be one of the older I know you're an elder.
SPEAKER_00:How do you feel about that? Um I think it's crazy to watch you in that seat.
SPEAKER_02:It's crazy to be in that seat. I want you to know that when I think about I am the oldest on this side of the family or the oldest on this or the other side of the family. Um and uh it's an honorary role to to be able to have people to talk about uh how important it is to be connected and and to have folks to show up. And for me to be able to feel like showing up too. I mean it's taking care of yourself to be able to feel good and to take care of yourself so you can you can connect and and be able to move around. And so that that's a true blessing.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I have good news for you. I was listening to another podcast, it was Oprah's podcast, actually. It was an older podcast where she was interviewing my Angelo, and my Angelo um had either just turned 80 or 81 or was early in her 80s, and so Oprah asked her how um how is it? How do you feel being in your 80s? And she was like, it's fantastic. I totally recommend it. Like, if you can do it, okay, do it. Do it, huh? Um, which I just think is so cool. Um wild. Yeah, yeah. And thinking about like each decade of your life and all of what you you gain and can experience and look back, but also look forward. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So when you think about the kind of woman that that Maya Angelo was and what she represented in terms of being an African-American female, having gone through the various challenges in her life and what she was able to accomplish in spite of a lot of the um the various difficulties that that she had. And then to hear that she said in her 80s were still great. So that means that she not only lived the good life, but she was feeling good about living the good life. So that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_00:It's very cool.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. On to 80. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm ready. I am ready. One year at a time, one day, one day at a time.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Sometimes it's one hour at a time, one minute at a time at a time. Yes, I think uh well, they say, but just keep moving forward.
SPEAKER_02:Keep moving forward.
SPEAKER_00:I think that's what God wants us to do.
SPEAKER_02:So you had a pretty busy week too.
SPEAKER_00:So uh um is it somewhat busy, but I concluded my week by going to get um a facial um at a new spa. And uh and uh I got some things done that I had never had done before. And so it was a whole new experience. Yeah, but you also know me. I'm here for trying all the different beauty treatments and all the I just I'm like, it doesn't work, test it on me. Is it the magic pill? So I got uh derma planing done. You know, derma planing. It's where they they scrape off um all of the like the outer layer of your skin.
SPEAKER_02:Dead skin, old skin.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think all that, all that, yeah. So you can do it, they recommend doing it like three six ish. Yeah, yeah, it's like a razor. I mean, I didn't take a look at the actual mechanism, but it's like razor or laser. Razor. A razor. Yes, yes, but actually it made me think of there was a time period a few years ago where women were uh talking a lot about shaving their faces. Yes and how yes, and so I was like, I guess this is just it on a different level and doing it all over. Dermapling derma planing, yeah. And then uh a light chemical peel. Okay, all right. Uh, which I've always been so I have really sensitive skin, right? As you know. I know, yes.
SPEAKER_02:It's been always since I was a baby, since you were a baby, and um because you were fair skinned, yeah, um, not only was it sensitive, but it also you easily bruised. And so I also turned bright red immediately. Well, you'll do that too. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Like any type of irritation, it's like tomato.
SPEAKER_02:And in fact, I could always tell when you were getting ready to crack. The bright red would show up right, and then you would you know starting to get out of the way. It's true.
SPEAKER_00:So it's true. Professionally, they tell me I have like an excellent poker face, and I was like, that's only the emotions aren't involved. Because how fucking my mind was the emotions are involved. That is true. Um, you will see me change color. Yes, yes, yeah. Um, so I say that to say that I've always been a little skittish of chemical peels. Yes, it makes me think of that Sex in the City scene or scenes uh where Samantha got a chemical peel for going to a funeral and had to wear like that B. Anyway, so that was the image I had of my yes, yeah. That was funny. I mean, yes, such a good series. Um, anyways, that but she convinced me that it would be okay that this was the light chemical peel. And I was like, and I can do that with the shaving because that just feels like a lot. And she was like, Yes. Okay. Um, and so I did it and it's it's good. Like I highly recommend if folks are into face treatments um and you don't want to go like the full laser. This is another one of my um current requirements. Anything that I do has to have a quick recovery time. Like a lot of these treatments are like, okay, your downtime's like five days. And I'm like, what do you mean downtime? Or like three to five? Yeah. And I'm like, so what does that mean? They're like, well, you know, don't wear any makeup, uh, you'll be red, your skin might peel, you might have some flaking. Um, I was, I'm like, but what if I have meetings tomorrow? What are you talking about? Yes. And they're like, well, yeah, just find some time. I'm like, so you expect me to block out like a whole week just for, and I was like, but how literally, how do women do this? that's that's a real commitment women because it have other responsibilities. Yes, that yeah. Because I mean these treatments are expensive. So I imagine I mean you might get your money for other things. But yeah, working women. Um this particular facialist said that uh the women that she services most of them have gotten to a point where they just don't care anymore. So even if they parents don't care anymore.
SPEAKER_02:I mean like my age and they don't care what they look like.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, they they care what they look like. But usually um they are like full beat, full face of makeup. But when they go in for a treatment because they they love the results so much and they know what the results are, okay. They will just go into work the next day um peeling and red look looking crazy. They're like it's fine because I'm gonna look crazy for this week and then I will be exactly what I want to be the week following. So you And I was like I'm not there yet.
SPEAKER_02:Dermoplane then you got the chemical peel. Anything else?
SPEAKER_00:Not in that session. No not in that session. That that that was plenty. And I went in particular because I'm dealing with like a hormonal breakout that is driving me insane. Uh because I also in case folks care too like I have really acne prone skin. Yes you do so I'm constantly trying to figure out ways to to mitigate that uh just maintain um clear skin besides like the drinking of the water and watching your diet and double cleansing and all the things but the exercising that you know is allowing you to have your pores to um to to breathe and and so uh you well you do have sensitive skin and uh and I still have breakouts even in my 70s.
SPEAKER_02:I mean I I get this from you and my father. Yes yes yes I I yes yes I believe absolutely absolutely but I but I think it's uh real important to know what the current trends are and what can really help. So I applaud you for moving it forward and and trying some new and different things. I remember talking to my grandmother uh about her skin uh years and years ago. What's the old school stuff? It was interesting it's and it's because I was in media and so I was always trying to make sure that my skin looked a certain kind of way and I just was talking to her and I I said grandma tell me what what do you use on your because her skin was beautiful. Yeah it was and she said um Vaseline and noxema oh lord and I said what else and she said that's all I I had 11 kids I was working here I was working there I worked in the fields I didn't have time to be able to put on makeup and to do those kind of things so very naturally she just used did you try it like after you had that conversation with well let me try it for a week and see what the results are the noxema I did but I couldn't imagine putting the Vaseline on top of it. You know um but uh later in talking to my mother uh because my mother wore makeup she did she believed in the red lipstick and yes doing having the fully uh made up face at a particular time and I asked her about uh skincare because she had beautiful skin too um and she said I didn't wear a lot of makeup but um what my mother believed uh your grandmother believed is that the food that she was eating kept her skin to be so uh so beautiful and so so natural.
SPEAKER_00:I believe that and so um so she would say today you if you had explained this whole oh yeah she'd be like Donica you're insane yeah she's like don't don't spend that kind of yeah you're wasting your money just drink your green juice and stop eating sugar.
SPEAKER_02:Yep you know I mean really point point blank and so uh she she would also say that we worry about these things much more than um the previous generations because uh when you have when you're blessed and you have natural beauty just keep enhancing that which is naturally yours and just kind of move it forward. So I can appreciate that.
SPEAKER_00:I don't think I'm well I don't worry um but I actually for the most part have enjoyed the aging process um whether that's skincare related or just generally speaking I feel like I show up um so much better um today than I did 10 years ago or you know as as I continue to mature. And so um but I I do also enjoy looking my best and defining that based on what I want not on what others want or perceive. Well if that's good. But I mean it would be foolish of me to to think that I am unaffected by um the outside world in general and media and social media so the magazines and the photographs and and look they spend a lot of money to make us think that we should look a certain way but so I I'm sure that impacts um I'm sure that impacts me for but I also just like you know do what makes you feel good.
SPEAKER_02:Well I I think that's that's good. And because I was in television for a number of years I did have to pay attention to uh my on-air appearance I did have to pay attention to uh my skin and uh my hair and and how I looked so I was probably a little more sensitive to it than uh than you are and what you're talking about now is the fact of understanding your own inner beauty as well as that which um is seen on on the screen. I I can appreciate that but I was very sensitive to making sure that I at least put on makeup and looked a certain kind of way and your your aunt aunt son is the one that indicated to me that I needed to wear more makeup because you need to step it up that's exactly right she was watching she was watching me on a TV uh on the TV show that I was doing and she said your eyes need some makeup your eyes don't even look like you have any really you don't have any any mascara anything and I said I I don't have on any she said what do you mean you don't have on any going on TV without mascara is crazy work. So she said okay what we're doing I I didn't think I needed it I can see it and I can see what are you got it you got hey I was working on the skin I was thinking about the powder I was not thinking about the eye take it in steps that's exactly right um but but she was really funny she brought over to uh to my apartment this whole little uh eye makeup kit and um liner and eye and then mascara and and she made me up and she said now look and I thought wow I had never seen that we talked about that for years and years and years after Louis that's a good friend. It was a good friend. That's the type of friend that you want who couldn't be honest and um but you know I was we honestly can help and help but I had never worn eye makeup before so and then teach and teach and teach and I received it. And you received and I actually liked the way that it looked but it did take more time oh I didn't just put on the the uh the powder and a little bit of lipstick and go.
SPEAKER_00:I I guess it's unbelievable how much time can be spent. Yeah yeah it it can be very labor intensive and I feel like it's just gotten worse and worse over time. I mean you hear about like these like 10 step routines and that's just for skincare. That's not even taking into consideration the makeup and then it's the the base and the concealer and the foundation and then the powder and then the setting and that's just for like the skin and that that's not even like the eyes and the eyebrows. I'm like what is going on? It's too much.
SPEAKER_02:What do you think about how men see us and what women do to be able to go through all of these processes so we could look a certain kind of way oh positive hilarious plus factor or negative.
SPEAKER_00:What that's interesting. So I think if you were to ask men they would say that women dress for them and I think if you were to ask well different women I'm women are not a monolith. Neither are men but I would say my experience women dress for women and they dress for themselves and um if the men are there to appreciate and they do appreciate great but if they're not then that's fine too.
SPEAKER_02:Isn't that the way it should be though you should dress for yourself. You should be able to be comfortable with who you are what you are and how you feel about yourself and just lay it all out there for you.
SPEAKER_00:I think so yeah I mean to that point though. Ooh um so I in my particular circumstance I had the benefit of having you as my mother who spent a lot of time focusing me on developing um internally and other skills and focusing a lot less on any of the external appearance stuff. We did a little bit you know you didn't want me out here looking crazy but we focused a lot on the other stuff. And so that's what really gave me the confidence and anything else I'm like oh that's um that's cool but that's not what I'm rooted in. I'm rooted in like all these other things and so I had a pretty solid foundation. I think that's what's key. Because if you if if you focus on the other stuff it it ebbs and flows. It comes and goes it comes and goes and flows.
SPEAKER_02:Ebbs and flows comes and goes yeah that reminds me of um an article I was reading about the word of the year dictionary.com every year comes out with a a particular word that is like the most popular word of the year. Have you ever felt this at all? No what what okay so what's the word 25 when you you said you know ebbs and flows and goes and comes and all of that. The word of the year for this year is six seven and when I heard that I didn't understand what it meant. Not even one word those two words how about that if it it is and what what it means is this or that or kind of up and down or you know any and every and so as I was reading the different definitions about it it reminded me that different generations different societies different people come up with words that are meaningful to them that the rest of us may or may not really appreciate. Last year the word of the year was demure oh a lot of people I hear people saying that all the time so that that's where they got that from well yes probably dictionary.com for last year 2015 I wonder how they select these words now that's a good question. I have no idea but in terms of your own self-worth and in terms of being able to enhance who you are what you are and everything.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And on your own terms because for me like style is fun. And makeup to me is fun and dressing up is fun and you can look one way one day and another day um look totally different in a different style and different like it's just um I think it would be very challenging for that to be like your identity. But I think it's definitely fun when it is in fact just something that you can play with.
SPEAKER_02:Which is why when you were playing with the dolls we could make them up and we could do anything and everything this is where it started started young.
SPEAKER_00:And this doll is doing it this way and this doll is doing it this way. Yeah that's exactly right.
SPEAKER_02:So see it comes full circle in some way shape or form.
SPEAKER_00:It always does it well good to talk to you my dear good to talk to you until next time. See you later all right
