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Raised By Her Podcast
Raised By Her is a mother–daughter podcast exploring the lessons, love, and lived experiences passed down through generations. Hosts Ro Nita and Donnica share honest, intergenerational conversations about womanhood, identity, family, and leadership - and the wisdom we inherit (and sometimes challenge).
Part humor and all heart, Raised By Her is a reminder that every generation has something to teach—and that the stories that raise us continue to shape who we become.
Raised By Her Podcast
90s Hip-Hop, Bad Boy Records, and the "Creative Crazy" | Raised By Her
In this special holiday episode of Raised by Her, we dive into the rising controversy surrounding Sean “Diddy” Combs and unpack the culture of 90s hip-hop through Ro Nita’s firsthand experience as a radio station owner.
Ro Nita shares never-before-heard stories from inside the industry — from the era of Bad Boy Records to the difference between authentic talent and carefully manufactured celebrity. You’ll hear wild behind-the-scenes moments, including a tense standoff with K-Ci & JoJo in a limo and her encounter with a young Destiny’s Child before they became icons.
We also explore leadership through a modern lens, comparing Diddy’s ego-driven culture to Taylor Swift’s recent generosity toward her team. Plus, we reflect on our favorite memories from the Kennedy Center Honors, navigating the “dirty lyrics” era as a parent, and why giving back remains at the heart of our family Christmas traditions.
Grab your cocoa — this episode blends industry insight, cultural commentary, and heartfelt holiday reflections.
🎤 New episodes every week. Honest conversations between mother and daughter on family, womanhood, and navigating life across generations.
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Welcome back to Raise by Her. Please feel free to like and subscribe. We wish you a Merry Christmas.
SPEAKER_02:We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. And a Happy New Year. Yay! It's Christmas week. Yes, it is. Yay! Yay! I like your hat. I like your whole outfit. Uh, likewise.
SPEAKER_03:I think it was intentional then.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. We do these things intentionally. Yes. Uh, so what are you looking forward to this week?
SPEAKER_03:Um, Christmas dinner. Christmas dinner, okay. Yes, yes, and being a guest, and being a guest, uh, traveling to uh your in-laws' home, which is always wonderful. We're going to Atlanta. Yeah. And great family, great fun.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Have you been watching anything this week?
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Oh, yes. Well, of course, Christmas movies. Oh, yeah. Your hallmark. We've talked about this. Yes, we've talked about this. Um, but uh a friend of mine suggested that I look at um the P. Diddy um documentary. Really? Somebody suggested that to you? Well, because of my radio background and the fact that I used to own the radio station during that era. And so she wanted to know um, was I aware of all of what was going on? Because this was a lot of it was in the 90s. Were you? And uh yes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you have some you had some crazy stories. The talent, is that what they're called? Um things.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, well, the the the talent. Um, yes, because uh in the radio business, uh you're playing the records, and so you have a close relationship with the record companies and the producers of the music. And so uh, and this was the beginning age of um popular hip-hop. I mean, hip-hop came into existence in the 70s, but it was really hot in the 90s, and that's when I began uh the station I built. So we went on the air November 25th, 1991, and we didn't stop from that point forward. And so it was uh it was a cool time to be in in broadcasting, uh, especially in radio and entertainment. But the whole P Diddy documentary was um quite enlightening and it just brought back a lot of memories. Did you watch the whole thing? Not no, I didn't watch the whole thing because it was four episodes. So I got through the first two, and then we sort of kind of know the end of the story right now. Um but it was the beginning, the part that that I did watch, it was um the the beginning of his career. Um, and you know, Sean Puffy Combs had a had a talent, and he had a destination um that he set up for himself that was quite amazing.
SPEAKER_01:Wait, did he have a talent though? So in full disclosure, I didn't watch I didn't listen to my people when they said watch it. I was like, but the housewives are on. So you know, pros and cons.
SPEAKER_02:P Diddy housewives.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, there's there's one that's gonna win every time. And I'd also felt like I'd heard enough, you know, like I'm over the stories of men abusing women. So I just I'm not trying to I don't um, but I mean everybody is talking about it. But did you like is one of the debates that I've heard is like, is he truly talented or did he just profit off of leveraging other people's talent?
SPEAKER_03:Well, he was a uh a producer and a creator of music, but he could dance and um he could rap. And so the reason why I wasn't really interested in the ending, because that's where there was even more of the abuse that um that you mentioned. But yes, he was talented because what he was able to do is to take his vision and to be able to learn from some of the best in the uh in the industry. Uh Andre Harrell, who was the um the creator of uh Uptown Records, is the person that really trained him. Did you know him? And so I I did. I I met him uh several times. Um and what was going on in the the record industry at that particular time. I mean, hip-hop was was coming on, was coming on, and the uh the talent was just amazing. Now I have to tell you, I I actually wanted to be in radio and radio ownership because of the Motown days. And uh Andre had uh been an executive at Motown and then he started his own record company, which is what a lot of people do. When he started his own record company, um what uh what uh Sean Combs was able to do is uh to be mentored, uh mentored by uh by Andre. And Andre was extremely talented. He is credited for really changing the stage and the game of hip-hop music at that time. And he created a lot of talented individuals. So when you watch the story, what you what you hear about is the childhood of uh Puff Daddy and you hear about how he was uh how he was raised um and what he was exposed to as a child. Um and one of his friends talks about the fact that he was an awkward child, but he was always a driven child.
SPEAKER_01:Well, clearly he was also an awkward adult because what?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he was he's a troubled adult.
SPEAKER_01:Um so I mean another part of the conversation of this documentary is that so 50 Cent is the producer. Yes, and that they've had some long-standing beef. And so there are folks out there that say that uh the narrative that was framed in this particular documentary isn't all the way accurate because 50 Cent was uh framing it to be as negative as possible to get back at well it didn't, and that could be the case.
SPEAKER_03:Um but obviously there's elements of truth, like even if that is true, but it's like because this documentary smoke, there's fire. Well, this documentary had a lot of footage of Sean himself.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, he was Oh, that's right, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So the the woman who was the producer was able to gather a lot of footage where Sean is talking about his life. He's talking about what he's gonna do, he's talking about uh what he has done. And so I can see where um people would say that it was negative, but I mean the man's life speaks for itself. He he his ego was huge, I guess is huge.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um, and he was a huge talent, and he uh, for whatever reason was able to spot talent because he could take talented groups like uh Joe Dissey, uh he could take someone like Mary J. Blige, and he was able to help to create the persona around them. Because in music and entertainment, it is not only the talent, it's not only the song, but it's how you present yourself, and it has to do with uh the image.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a whole that's why there's some people that try to get to that level, but they don't. It's uh that's right.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you that's absolutely and this also was during the time of the controversy of East Coast versus West Coast, and Tupac um was killed during this time, and Tupac was a was uh an extremely talented hip. Did you meet him? Um I didn't meet him, but uh I saw him several times uh perform. Now, our radio station formats, urban format, and so um they were around. This was not my music of choice. So the way that I handled it was to have my program, my program directors would work with the hip hop artists. I would uh have a chance to uh meet them when they come into the the station, uh, or they come to town for one of our our shows. Uh many of them came in for the Fly City Music Festival, which people still talk about that, by the way. Fly City. Yeah, it was it was a big deal. And people came from from all over the Midwest to um to our music festival that we produced. And so you know what I met them, I didn't know them.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, but I remember a lot of these artists, uh they they just um I mean you were just pretty no nonsense with them. Like your tolerance for the for the craziness was just zero because you I can only imagine what you what you saw and heard.
SPEAKER_03:It it's true because the I couldn't believe the things that they would have on their writers, the things that they would ask for, like the absurd things. Um, we want all um MMs to be a certain color. Who said that? I don't remember now. I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01:You had a crazy story about Casey and Jojo.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, well, yes, that was um that was at uh Carolyn Park. That was one of our jazz outdoor concerts um that we had, and um we had rented the limousines for them, and they came into the park. And then for whatever reason, they got angry about something, and they were refusing to get out of the car. So, you know, I have thousands of people there waiting for the performance, and they had come to town and we fed them, we did all the things we were supposed to do. Maybe I didn't give them the right color MMs, I don't know. Oh my gosh, but um refused to get out of the car. So um I am told that the entertainment is refusing to get out of the car. So I go over, I talk to the record rep because they travel with a representative. The representative is telling me whatever the absurd story was. I don't remember now what. And so I went to the car and I said, Um, I'm going to get into the car. And so I got into the limousine and I asked them what the problem was. And they said, uh, and who are you? And I said, I am the person that I invited you to be here. And what I want to know is, why are you not doing what it is that you've been contracted to do? And they said, Whatever the reason was, and I said, Okay, let us be very perfectly clear. I have thousands of people here that um have come here to see you. So you can choose not to perform, but let me tell you what we're not going to do. We're not going to play any more of your records. And I went and I said, and I will call the owners of the other stations in Ohio, and I laid this whole thing out. They said, Who are you again? I am not only the president and general manager, but owner of this facility. And um, and then I asked what their mother's name was. And they looked at me.
SPEAKER_01:I think I'm about to call her right now. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:I'm you know, don't sit here and and mess with me. I mean, just egos, egos. Um and so, but the but the industry itself lends itself, I I think, to some of the absurdity. Because in order to perform in the way that the artists perform, they have to have a lot of self-confidence and maybe just a little bit of that creative crazy that goes along with it.
SPEAKER_01:Creative crazy. Okay, let's see. Who else do I remember? Um, I remember Destiny's Child when they were still Destiny's Child.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, Beyonce. And her mother uh traveled with her at that particular time. So I had a chance to uh to talk with her and and be able to talk about what was she like? She was very down to earth. Um, she was in charge of their costumes, and she had made a lot of the costumes, and it was wonderful to be able to just talk about the other side before they had become Destiny's Child. Yeah, and then of course, then Beyoncé went on to to be Miss B.
SPEAKER_01:So I remember them being really nice. Very nice. Most they didn't refuse to get off the limo.
SPEAKER_03:No, they didn't. No, and they didn't ask for one color MMs.
SPEAKER_01:And did you see a difference between male performers and female performers?
SPEAKER_03:I saw a difference between the um the younger performer performers and the older performers. Okay. Um, and what my programming people would talk about, and my DJs who interacted with the performers and with the record reps, and of course, my program director was interacting with the record companies in general. How this works is you make your money by people buying your records. And we were still doing records, and then we went into CDs and all of that. But in order for the audience to be able to know what the product is, someone has to play it, and you have to play it in terms of rotation.
SPEAKER_01:And that's why you need to get relationships.
SPEAKER_03:A lot, a lot, a lot of um rotations, especially if something is dropping. Now, today it's different. I mean, the industry is is different, and there are many other ways that you can get your product out there, but back in the day, back then, it was it was um it was really challenging. And what I believed happened is your their dream came true, and they just didn't know how to handle all of the hype and all of the attention. Um not everybody.
SPEAKER_01:I can see how it would be it would be a lot for someone in their 20s, particularly if they don't have like a solid um background and or people around them that can guide them in the right way.
SPEAKER_03:And what uh what P. Diddy was was doing is he was creating uh not only the cultural following, but he was creating this persona with the artists that uh that he was connected to uh when he went to um Aristotle Records and Clive Davis. Um Clive is, I mean, he is like Mr. Radio. Um and he helped. Did you mean him? Yes. Um because we would go to easygoing, nice, we were selling a lot of product in all friends, we were all making money. The fact that um that ROU would move a lot of product in this area, and we had big successful conference uh festivals, it it really helped. And so the uh record reps talked us up, and so the record companies then supported our product, they supported the special promotions that we wanted to do, being able to send our listeners to various places around the world, and so it you have to keep that relationship going. And my program directors um were just really um very talented, um, both Marv and Stan. And then my DJs were wonderful because they kept the relationships going. And so we had a good relationship. That's just like uh with Tom Joyner, the fly jock. Um he was wonderful to work with. Uh ABC Radio was wonderful to work with. Oh, Doug Banks and all that. Doug, yep, that's where we had uh Doug came out of ABC Radio, and we were at Urban Station of the Year several times because we would not only do our homework, but we would do the extra things. And so the record companies and the record reps and the artists like coming to like coming to Ohio. Um so in addition to the Fly City Music Festival in Dayton, there was also um the uh Black Family Reunion, which was in Cincinnati, and so we complimented each other. That's the whole thing. Uh they they still have it, yeah. Cincinnati still has it. It's not quite the same as it used to be back in back in the 90s. Oh my gosh, wasn't that so like so many things? It's not how it used to be. Yes, and um you you asked me if the record executives were nice people. They were, they knew what which stations were moving their product, and that's what they wanted. So they're going to be nice if the general manager or the owner comes into one of the conferences. But those relationships were really uh ongoing. And I met them at records and radio conferences or the National Association of Broadcast Conferences, and we would have meetings and we would talk about promotions and we would talk about what we're going to do. I would talk about what we wanted, um, and I would have an opportunity to negotiate something for next year for our station for our station andor stations for our artists. That's why Doug Banks was here so often.
SPEAKER_02:Well, sounds like it was a time.
SPEAKER_03:It was a time, and so when I'm watching the documentary, uh I am remembering more of not only the people I met, but the relationships. And we didn't know all this behind the scenes stuff. I mean, we knew that there was rumored to be the controversy with what was happening with uh Notorious B.I.G. Uh and what was happening that's on the East Coast, and then what was happening on the West Coast. And because the rap artists were just in such competition, um, when um Sean started the Bad Boy Records, um, they were pushing product like you'd never seen before. I didn't care for the product, I didn't care for the language.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I love the beat, but I just didn't like I'll just listen to the instrumental.
SPEAKER_03:Well, but you know what they started doing though? They started making a clean version of the songs and the other version because I wouldn't uh we wouldn't broadcast the other version. Now that was very hard because ongoing basically a lot of pushback for that. Um, but I said young people, we have teenagers that are listening to this music and they're repeating that language, and I just didn't want that to be uh on us.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I mean that's why it's important to have people like you in leadership.
SPEAKER_03:Well, um, other people were just thinking about the dollars and cents.
SPEAKER_01:That's why it's important to have people like you in leadership. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:But do you remember the conversation within your our household about it?
SPEAKER_01:Um so what about what do I remember? I remember that I was in high school and loved, as somebody did, hip hop music and loved being uh your daughter and affiliated with the station and was knee deep in all the rap music, dirty and clean. And my father was not here for it. He was not a fan of the fact that I was starting to dip my toe into that part of the culture and the hip-hop-ness of it all. To discredit them, I do remember him taking me to a little Kim concert, which I think just probably sent him back over the edge. Probably not my case at all. Like, oh my god, it's exactly what I thought it was.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, no one exposed. But it was it was so interesting because I said, Do you even know what it is that you're complaining about? Have you really ever listened to any of the music and clean version or not clean version? And um, but he wanted to to understand. Uh yeah, of course. And but when he started talking about what you couldn't listen to, then I had to push back on him because I said, she's the the the epitome of who is making listening to our radio. Exactly. So we had to have that that uh conversation and controversy. And um and also it was real important for me to be able to take the resources that we had and then try to present the other side. We we did a lot of um we had a teen group and that uh we rewarded by um doing lots of um competitions for best grades and going to the high schools.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah, you were doing like corporate social responsibility and social impact before it was a thing. That's exactly right. Yes, for sure.
SPEAKER_03:And so that made the station really popular too, and that's one of the reasons why people still mention it today. Um and so I remember one of our investors saying to me at some point, you know, you probably should have just stayed in public broadcasting because Oh, you're too focused on the public community aspect of it. Well, but but community is what we're all about. If you're if you're not about the community and the people you can help and the people you serve, then you know what good are you?
SPEAKER_01:My experience is that you can do both. Like you can have a really successful company and also be an asset to the communities that you serve.
SPEAKER_03:That's right. You can.
SPEAKER_01:Um so you know, I just any alternative to that, it always makes me suspicious because I was like, that just hasn't been my experience. I've seen people choose to do other things, but that's a choice.
SPEAKER_03:It is a choice. It's also, I think, um you as an individual being able to decide your own personal values and then the values for the company that you work for. And we had a great group of employees that just really worked hard to be able to match the values of who we were and what we were, and to make community uh a priority. So um oh yeah, well, they believed in the work that you were doing.
SPEAKER_01:Like if you were to start another radio station today, you want to start another radio station today? No, no, thank you very much. I bet you could call each and every one of them and they would come back immediately and work for you.
SPEAKER_03:The blessing has been that many of them have indicated that that's the what's it? And they tried to get me to to do that uh after I I sold, but it was uh it was a battle, and it was an ongoing battle. And I I do believe that we were able to take the blessings and the resources we had and do the best we can at the time. And that was that was good. So the question becomes would I recommend watching the documentary? Um I would say that if you were in the business, in the industry, or if you had some kind of relationship with some of the various and asundary individuals, you might find it to be uh interesting. You might find it to be a good reflection of back in the day. But it's also representative of the kind of problems that weren't solved that we are still having today when you talk about the the uh physical abuse and the violence, because uh Puff Daddy was uh a person who had a temper and everybody knew it.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think there's like a temper, and then there's like pulling guns on people, and I mean this is like taking it to a whole other level. But I think I've heard enough. I think I've um I'm glad that you've watched it for the both of us and um it can it can live where it lives.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I so I I'd had enough, and so that's why I didn't get all the way all the way through the documentary.
SPEAKER_01:But for someone who loves Hallmark movies, it was quite the departure. That that's true.
SPEAKER_03:But for someone who really enjoyed the positive side of our radio station business, it was uh a lot of memories about the who and the what and the the individuals. And uh there was this one scene where Clive Davis uh was talking to uh to P. Diddy and uh about uh the hip hop industry, and then he let him listen to the music, and his eyes got big because he had never heard language like that. And it went from there and you know, went from bad to worse. From bad to worse. Yes. And I think we're probably still feeling some of that today. I mean, over the years, when you look at the popularity of of the music, uh, when you look at the language that young people speak, when you look at how folks present themselves, you know, there is I mean, yeah, how you drive the culture matters and how you input in the culture matters.
SPEAKER_01:So um, that's right. It influences every single aspect. But music has continued to be a big part of our lives, I feel like. I'm thinking now about um, you know, as we think about all the news that came out this week, last week, I'm having memories of like our Kennedy Center experiences. So when I was still in DC, um, and but for some leadership changes, I would probably still work with the Kennedy Center to some degree. Sure. Oh, you know, I I loved being there. And then, you know, I would go there with you when we got the chance to go to Kennedy Center honors. And there's I mean, the programming was excellent, and um the the president at the time, she was great, and she was doing some things around inclusivity, which was really interesting. And so I know you and her had talked a little bit about bringing um some of the local programming from Dayton there, and we were just we just had all these plans, you know. I you were working at it from a local level, I was working on it from like a national partnerships level, and it was a whole it was a whole thing, but it's um so sad.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it is sad because what arts and culture represent is our connectivity to humanity across the board. And you want to be able to have a standard that you can be proud of. And uh when Michael Kaiser, who was the president CEO of the Kennedy Center for a number of years, when I did have a close relationship back when I had uh my radio station uh with them, what Michael believed is bringing the most talented uh of the artists uh from across the world into the Kennedy Center for performances and to be able to celebrate a difference, to celebrate diversity, and to have exposure for the the brightest and and the best worldwide. And that's a part of what he he did. He also really supported black dance. And so when I was the CEO of uh the Dayton Contemporary Dance Company and the um the support that he gave us, he was uh not only an advocate and a fan of black dance across the country, but also he put his money where his mouth was and had a lot of the companies to be able to perform at the Kennedy Center. So I attended programs there, special initiatives, performances, and I was a part of what I call the training of what he had to offer in terms of running a successful arts and cultural business. It was quite amazing.
SPEAKER_01:What was so this that was pre-my time. Um that year that I was heavily involved with the Kennedy Center and was building out all types of uh new potential partnerships and things, those were that was a few years ago, and I was um, you know, I was like, oh, I get to go to this. Of course I want to bring bring my mother if your schedule allowed. Do you remember like what was your favorite event that you uh like the big event that we were able to attend together?
SPEAKER_03:I think it's I believe the um these were the the Mark Twain comedy. Oh, the Mark Twain comedy, yeah, yeah, that was good wonderful because uh the comedians were there.
SPEAKER_01:So you had to be honoring John Stewart that year, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And Steve Carell was there, and Dave Chappelle was there. And I mean, just just um all of the major comedians came in to recognize John, and the the laughter was was wonderful and the talent was amazing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and the genuine good feels. Yes, in fact, we have photographs. We do, we do. I um it's cool because when I think of of that time in particular, I was I've always enjoyed, you know, being your plus one and being able to be kind of behind the scenes in the yeah, yeah, and then in the rooms before the big events, and then we have the opportunity to do that a couple times, and so that was one of them, and so we were able to be in the room and take the pictures and have the conversation. Well, I didn't want to take the pictures because I at the time I take the pictures now. Now I get it. Now I get it. Uh but yes, I was I'm glad that that you all forced me to take the photos. Now we have memories.
SPEAKER_03:Um, there was a photo that I wanted you to take back years and years ago. Shamar Moore. Oh, we were on vacation, and he happened to be in the vicinity. And so people were going up and taking photographs. And I said, Donico, you should take this photograph because he's a star, and one day he's going to be a bigger star.
SPEAKER_01:And do you remember the fact that you didn't want to well, um, you know, my my sense was always I don't want to disturb people because I don't like being disturbed, you know. So I feel like do on to others.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_01:And so that that's always in my reticence in like going up to folks because I'm like, because also we're usually seeing these people out in the wild, you know. We were on, I don't know if we were on, I don't know where we were in that particular scenario. But oftentimes we're on vacation or at a resort, you know, we just if we're running into them, so if I'm on vacation, you're probably on vacation too.
SPEAKER_03:I don't want to uh he didn't mind, but I I would really have uh really would have liked that photograph, but that's okay.
SPEAKER_01:I remember missing that photo. I also remember missing a photo with Charles Barclay.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, the uh the athletes. Uh I I took you to a Chicago Bulls game. It was one of the final games when it was the old Chicago Bulls um with Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02:It's my birthday. So yep. I remember that.
SPEAKER_03:Your birthday trip, yeah. So and since you were such a a Bulls fan, I was we had um we had a great time, and there was some photo upstairs. Uh um Michael Jordan was yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I I didn't take a photo of Jordan.
SPEAKER_03:Uh well, it wasn't gonna be with him, but it was kind of the group because we got great seats. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01:You're like so stand over there, stand over there.
SPEAKER_03:The the record company, you know, reps hooked us up. I see, yeah. You know, uh, but it's okay. That's all right. You've grown up to be able to have your own contact. We go to the Kennedy Center and we meet the meet the stars. And uh and people would say to me all the time, do you just love meeting the stars? And like you, I I believe that the stars are just regular people and they appreciate their privacy, but they also appreciate that their fans have helped make them who they are. So you have to be able to give them their space, but also give them the grace that uh that exists as well.
SPEAKER_01:Now I think of it more as like just making sure that it makes sense for the woman. Like if they are having dinner with their family in a corner, probably leave them alone. But if they are just like standing there waiting for something, then it in fact is okay to just walk up and and start a conversation.
SPEAKER_03:And I think it's wonderful to be able to have had a life where you can meet a lot of people, go a lot of places, and appreciate the fact that they are regular everyday people too, and they do have a life. So respecting their space, I think, is is also good.
SPEAKER_00:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:Not regular, they're not regular people. I mean, they're people, but they they are people who have achieved some amazing things.
SPEAKER_03:They have, and they're talented and they're skilled, but just like you and me, they came into this world, and just like you and me, they will leave this world in the same way.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, I suppose that that's the baseline. Coming in and going out, yes, then we are all in the same regular.
SPEAKER_03:Regular is not a way to describe it. You have a better word than regular.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I just I like to give people um their when you do extraordinary things, I like to look at you and celebrate you in terms of being extraordinary. And a lot of times people are very humble and you know, they're just doing what they know to do and they're leaning into their passions and their talents. But um, at the same time, like you, I like to give you your flowers when when you're around. So I and I know it can make people uncomfortable, but also like you are great. FYI, in case nobody else told you that today, yes, you are great.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, that's that's a wonderful way to look at it. I really appreciate that. So that's good. So when you think about the Kennedy Center and you think about the experiences there, um, we know that politically right now, there's just this challenge to be able to change it. Um the the the chair of the Kennedy Center's board has been changed, the board of directors. They got rid of all the former board of directors and they've changed a lot of things. How do you keep in place the the memories as well as the respect and the uh the reason why it exists? It's a memorial to President John F. Kennedy. This is his memorial. So how do you keep that in place in the midst of what is going on currently?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I keep the memories alive um by the photos. Okay. And the literal memories. Yeah. Um, it is, I do not view it as my job to do anything additional to that. That's an aspect of my business that sure, if they would like to hire me to try to figure out how to work on some of their crisis PR, then you know, have a phone call away. That's uh that's perfectly. But then also the name of the Kennedy Center based on the federal funding can only be changed by an act of Congress. And so, regardless of what um the medium is saying or the or the PR of it all, um, the facts are the facts.
SPEAKER_03:And I think that's a good bottom line way for us to look at it. So we will uh we'll stay tuned to see extended.
SPEAKER_01:And uh nothing lasts forever. So that is true. Change is inevitable and it'll ebb and flow. It is that is a particularly challenging institutional um time for the kidneys that are to be going through what they're going through that that probably wasn't um in their in their bingo cards, but you know they'll get through it.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it's a memorial for um for our former president.
SPEAKER_01:Uh and so well, it is that and also and so much more.
SPEAKER_03:That's why that's well, and I was gonna say, so it's very interesting when someone wants to change the the name and what it stands for and what it means and how the recognition and just the uh the entire sort of ethos of um what it stood for. It would be like going to the Washington Memorial and saying, Okay, well, you know, the Washington Memorial's there and it's been there now for all these many years, but let's now call it the Donico Washington Memorial.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think we navigate our our leadership styles quite differently, um, me and the president. But also that brings up so there's another documentary that came out that I didn't watch. Um I've heard quite a bit about Taylor Swift. Have you heard about have you heard about her? Okay. And um one of the things that they so the documentary is about her tour. Okay. That um she just went on, or not just but she went on, and the the experience of developing the tour and all of what goes into the tour. And so it highlighted uh quite a bit of the staff that's involved with the tour.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:And uh it got a lot of press in part because it's Taylor Swift, but also because one of the things they documented was the tour grossed uh millions and millions and millions of dollars more than anticipated. And so uh she took part of that money and gave it to her staff. Oh as a bonus. Oh, how wonderful in addition. And so I can't remember the exact numbers, but it was something like she took several million and was like, I don't know, you know, a couple thousand people work for me, just distribute it. And so I think it averaged out to like an extra$50,000 and bonuses for for uh you know the the tour drivers and the dancers and the the folks that you don't always see. Yes, it's awesome, yeah, yeah. And so behind the scenes. Um it's pretty cool. In it is cool. And then I mean, I have my other challenges with Taylor Swift, but that's pretty cool. And in the conversations around um this act that she did, it was uh a conversation around leadership as well, where some people, uh, when they um are in a certain position, they are like, I appreciate this position and I can see all the other people that help support me and help me do what I do. And I want to continue to honor them and and move forward in a certain type of way. And that's how that's the type of leader you are.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, thank you.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but then there's also people who are like, I am where I am, excellent, I'm great. You all are um you're welcome for being in the room with me. Uh, you know, I, you know, it's all about me, me, me, me, me. And so it's just, it's a it's just a different way of of looking at where you are and who you are. And I that just came to me as we were talking about would I put my name on my no, because I I think my leadership style is different. I don't think that it's all about me.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I'm glad to hear you say that. I mean, that's very important. But but thank you not only for the compliment, but also the recognition that it's by choice. It's a choice. And you can make the choice based upon not only who you are and what you stand for, but also understanding where the soul comes from. The soul comes from deep down inside that is the essence of who you as a person are. And so I think that Taylor Smith is saying, um I've been blessed to be able to have my talent and my skill and to make all this extra money. And so my soul wants to be able to say thank you to all those many hundreds of thousands of people who have helped make me who I am today. And that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_01:And do you think everything's a choice?
SPEAKER_03:I know everything is a choice, but I also I also know that you have to be wise enough to understand is this choice right for me now, or is this choice one that I can leave on the table?
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So that becomes an individual decision that you make as we are growing and knowing.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, that's what I think that's interesting. Like I have a lot of appreciation for people who do self-reflect and are trying to move their lives um along in whichever way they want to go. Uh, but I I I do struggle when people are like, you know, they I how would I put it? Um I don't even know like how I would I don't quite know how to say this, but I I agree with you that everything's a choice. And so when I hear people complaining about a something, I'm like, well, then make a different choice, make a different decision.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, and and what happens is, and we all have an ego, we we do. I mean, that's a part of who we are as as human beings, but what you need to to learn to do is to be able to control it. Um, ego is is said to be edging God out. Um that means that you you begin to think more about yourself, your own needs, your own wants, uh, not the needs of others. If you can live a life where you think about the blessings that you have, the gifts that you've had, the challenges that you've had, everybody's gonna have challenges, right? Everybody is that's a part of the growth experience, it's a part of life. But then if you can move beyond that and be of service and move further and further in your career, in your resources, and the money you have, or even if you don't have a lot of money, but you still have decided that you're going to lead a certain kind of life, you'll benefit. It's just that's the way the universe is set it up. So and that's part of what this season is all about. The holiday season and the Christmas season is all about being able to give up self and then do a little bit more, which is what mommy was always all about. She would say.
SPEAKER_01:You are about that doing a little bit more than we do. Because we can.
SPEAKER_03:Because we can. Yeah. Doing a little bit more. So um our caroling to the veterans is an opportunity to do a little bit more. We've done it many, many times years ago, and now this year we had a chance to to do it again.
SPEAKER_01:And so it's that uh yeah, so I remember the caroling parties around Christmas as a tradition, and I also remember um creating uh big gift bags for homeless. Yeah. Um, and and taking those over and uh shopping for the things that they need and all that type of stuff too. So those are the two like big things that I remember that were a part of.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it was just um we were just so blessed to have so many things. And during the wintertime, I mean, you drive down any street in any American city and you see homeless people. And so the thought was to to go and to buy some socks and to buy some blankets and some hats and gloves and jackets or whatever, and put them in a big bag and tie, big white bag and tie a red bow around them. And then when we're driving through, we would just um put some candy canes and we would just say Merry Christmas on Christmas Eve and and give them out. And people just really appreciated it. It was just something we decided to do. Um, there are other times when we adopted families. Oh yeah, I remember that. So and we would shop for the for the families. A lot of people do it. People give in the way that that that they can uh if they have have the resources. If you don't have any extra resources, then um volunteer at one of the shelters, volunteer in one of the soup kitchens. There are many ways that you can you can give of yourself, sure. And that's what I really believe that that uh Jesus wants us to do.
SPEAKER_01:I think that's an excellent like final message.
SPEAKER_03:How about that? It is the reason for the season. Yes. Well, you my dear, an individual that I am so very proud of. So enjoy the holiday season.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you. You can do the same. Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas. Merry, Merry Merry Christmas.
SPEAKER_03:And to those of you, may you have a wonderful and joyous holiday season and give of yourself a little bit more. Someone will appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, absolutely. Please feel free to like and subscribe, and we will see you next week. Happy holidays.
